Domestic Abuse: an insidious problem
Dear Friends,
Given recent high profile events at St Andrew’s Cathedral School last month, I thought it was worth noting that 25th November is the International Day to Eliminate Violence Against Women. This date marks the start of the United Nations UNiTE campaign - a 16 day international campaign that aims to prevent and eliminate violence against women and girls around the world.
Why such a focus? Because violence against women and girls is one of the most widespread, persistent and devastating human violations in our world today and it remains largely unreported due to the impunity, silence, stigma and shame surrounding it. It typically involves physical, sexual and psychological forms of violence, including intimate partner violence, sexual violence and harassment, human trafficking, child marriage and more. And friends, it just has to stop.
I am aware that it’s not just women who are victims and survivors of violence and domestic abuse so please hear my comments today as applying to anyone who has suffered in this way. Please be assured that if you are impacted in any way by domestic abuse you can speak to a member of staff for help and we will value, respect and listen to you. You will be believed. You can also call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or the NSW Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 656 463).
Domestic and Family Abuse has a long and tragic history beginning in Genesis 4 and it continues to be a blight on our world right up to the present day. The solution to eliminate it is complex and multifaceted to be sure, but it has to begin with new hearts and minds that are only available through the supernatural power of the Spirit of God and the work of Jesus Christ in our lives. Only Jesus can truly change hearts. Only the Spirit can truly reshape lives to be full of peace and self-control. Our world, the violent in the world and everyone else, needs Jesus.
That’s not to say that Christians are never guilty of domestic abuse however. Tragically, some Christians (both men and women) are aggressive, demanding and violent towards their family. It’s unacceptable. It’s ungodly. It’s horrific. It’s got to stop.
As a church, we must call out those who hurt or abuse their family. Of course, you can only do that when you know each other well enough to know what is happening in each other’s families; so, ask more pointed and personal questions of your friends and GG members at church. More than “How’s your household going?” Or, “How’s your marriage?” Dig deep with people. Ask the awkward questions about parenting, finances, sex, coercion and violence. If you have concerns, don’t ignore them. It is loving to ask. It is loving to rebuke. It is loving to help.
If you are the victim of a family member’s abuse, please speak to police, a trusted friend or a member of staff. We want to help and are equipped to do so. If you are the one being violent. Please stop now. Please seek help.
There is so much more to say and I would be happy to recommend more detailed reading for you - there is some further information including our Domestic Abuse Policy on our website (www.christchurch.com.au/resources/domestic-and-family-violence-prevention-month). But our response to domestic abuse cannot happen later. Our response must happen now. And it must happen from the ground up. In our church, from every pastor and every church member, let us talk to each other with Scriptures in hand, humbly, lovingly, carefully but urgently.
If you need help, please, just ask.
In Christ
Nigel
