Perplexed But Not in Despair

I don’t know exactly how many times Anne of Green Gables ends up in the depths of despair but the way Megan Follows portrays the emotion and drama of a young girl in the original miniseries is brilliant. In one scene, Anne, who was incredibly sensitive about her red hair, turns her hair green because she was teased and called ‘Carrots’ by Gilbert Blythe. Marilla finds her weeping - in the depths of despair - on her bed, determined never to go out into the world again.

Many of us have had moments like that. All of us will have moments like that. Life is never just one easy road and there are always things that leave us feeling at a loss. There are things that happen in life that are difficult to understand, difficult to navigate and difficult to work through. Sometimes the world of our emotions just takes over and it can all feel just a bit too much. 

The apostle Paul clearly had moments like this. In 2 Corinthians 4 he reflects on his time in ministry and explains that he has been hard pressed, perplexed and struck down. No doubt reflecting on Jesus’ call to “take up your cross” he says “We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus”. Life and ministry was hard for Paul. Life and ministry can be hard for us too. Indeed, it can be perplexing. 

One commentator explains that the word perplexed describes the moment you are encapsulated or surrounded by difficulties to such an extent that you do not know how to get out of them. You are at a loss for what to do next. Confusion and doubt reign, uncertainty is your companion and solutions seem little more than a distant mirage. Does that describe moments in your life? It certainly does for me. 

God does not always give us solutions for these moments but he always gives us assurances and Paul is an example of life lived in light of such assurances. He says he was at a complete loss but did not go all Anne of Green Gables because he recognised both his frailty and the all-surpassing power of God. He trusted that God had bigger things in store for him and that whatever troubles he faced, he would consider them little more than light and momentary because of the hope and certainty of God’s love and future promises. 

He describes himself as perplexed but not in despair (2 Corinthians 4:8). The language here is actually a play on words and he literally says he is perplexed but not utterly perplexed; confused but not utterly confused; at a loss but not lost. His point is that he never got to the point of overwhelm because he continued to have his eyes fixed on the sovereign love of God toward him and the temporary nature of all you can see. 

All this speaks to our expectations of life. It will have its hard moments. It will have its perplexing moments. We will find ourselves confused, annoyed, at a loss and uncertain. But far from signalling God’s absence or the unreality of faith, these moments should drive us to God in faith as we remember our frailty and his bigger sovereignty and promises. We won’t find ourselves despairing or without hope when we know the God of the universe but will rather cling to his love, remembering that he has got us in his hands and plans.

We need each other in these moments but more than anything we need to look up to God who knows where we are at and will sustain us in the maelstrom with his powerful hand, powerful promises and powerful love. I give thanks for that daily.